So I'm going to talk about something partially taboo for a minute, which is what the virus, the economy crashing and social distancing in general is likely going to do to relationships and sex. I'm going to skip past some of the uglier subjects like survival sex and what that's going to look like in the future, though I might talk about that at another time.

So if you don't have a significant other right now, you're going to have a hard time dating. I've had an embarrassing amount of long distance relationships before and so I have the dubious distinction of being something of an expert in how to successfully make a long distance relationship into a regular relationship. And while some of that is no longer relevant as it's been a while, some things never change.

Some do though. People are adapting. I've seen people try novel methods of dating where they'll be on Facetime during dinner or simulwatch a movie or show and talk on the phone, but there's this problem where if you did not know them before, you won't know if you're actually attracted to that person. Mentally? Sure. Emotionally? Sure. Even for the physical aesthetics part? Sure. But there's something about being close together, that animal side of us that has only a passing familiarity with rationality that can absolutely tank a relationship once you physically meet someone. They can seem perfect for you in theory but there can be no sparks. And I think that you're going to have a lot of people start long distance relationships (because soon everything will be long distance if they're not living with you), hit it off in theory and then crash and burn upon meeting.

On the other hand, if people do click? You're going to see a lot of people move in together before the second wave. Also because people aren't going to be able to afford to stay in their apartments anymore. There's going to be a strategy of people who are struggling or about to become homeless. This is not a judgement, people need help, but finding a partner because you're hungry and hiding that is a form of deceit and that's not a good way to build a relationship. Making quick decisions about a partner can end up really, really wrong, especially if there's a shelter in place or stay inside order that will probably last a month or two. Domestic violence is spiking and you need to protect yourself, but what you will also see are a lot of people who will find significant others too fast, realize that they're somehow incomparable and crash and burn. The pressure to shelter together to stave off loneliness and have a romantic partner or at least a sex friend is going to be extremely high and people are more likely to make bad decisions when they're lonely, scared and horny.

For those who find or are already in stable and loving relationships, please, for the love of God, get on birth control. I mentioned this about a month or two ago and people mocked me, but I'm hoping you'll be more receptive to it now. Don't have an oops baby. Hospitals are going to be extremely busy and dangerous to go to. Things are going to get bad for the next few years. If you can't afford condoms or the pill or an IUD, you can't afford to have sex. This is not a great time to bring a baby into the world on purpose or by accident. And I can't stress enough that you should get more condoms than you think you need if you're using them. We're all basically on airport rules for drinking, meaning you drink whenever now, we're all bored, we have nothing to do and in this place of lowered inhibitions and boredom, if you have a high enough sex drive, you can go through two or three a day. And if you think you're good because you're on the pill, well, we're going to have problems with that because a lot of meds are going to run out due to supply shortages and birth control pills will be one of them. That's going to happen over the next few months. So get condoms.

Some pointers for long distance relationships:

1. If you are going to be engaging in a relationship in which one partner is not physically present, you can jump-start a relationship through Facetime and talking on the phone or Discord or whatever, but the spark just might not be there. So don't put your eggs all in one basket. So...

2. What I've been doing is dating multiple people. I'm very up front with the fact and that I'm going to wheedle that down to one, though your own mileage may vary. This is not because this is some reality show where people are replaceable, it's because you and your would be beau could do incredibly well online and then the relationship falls apart when you meet. I don't lie, I don't obfuscate, I tell people up front and if they can't deal with that, I can't deal with them. People aren't a list of check marks on a checklist that can tell you if they're a good partner or not. There's a lot of animal stuff in relationships that we take for granted and the sudden physical presence of that other person after months of working up to that first physical meeting will be a sink or swim moment. So if you can, maybe do the emotional/getting to know you part of dating with a few people so you don't get disappointed when the one person just falls through for whatever reason. You'll probably have the time to date around.

3. Heavily vet that person. We're going to be dealing with waves of infection. Check out their social media and try to low key get opinions on them from people that know them. This is about your safety and sanity. Don't get stuck with an abuser. Don't get stuck with someone who is just using you because you represent three hots and a cot. Don't get stuck with someone who you are incompatible with because you're lonely and horny. Don't get stuck with someone who is careless who will get you sick. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't right and if you get told to shelter in place or quarantine to your home, don't get stuck with someone who is either dangerous or you don't like for months at a time because hell is other people.

4. Work on yourself. I'm currently going through a pretty grueling process of getting fit which means six days a week of exercise for about two to four hours a day, mostly walking. Not just to look more attractive because I am overweight, but I'm more likely to get through the roni safe and sound if I shed some pounds. So while I can, I'm walking a lot, jumping rope, lifting free weights, doing yoga, etc. If you can't afford weights, you can do exercises body weight and isometric exercises in your own home. Same for yoga. Hell, you can pick up an exercise bike or something for cheap. Check youtube for help on how to do stuff. Unless you're in an essential job, you're going to be inside for probably at least two months. That's a lot of time to go and get fit not just to be more attractive, but if you're morbidly obese, you're more likely to be harmed or even die from the coronavirus than a person at a healthy weight. I don't know about under that, but for your own health, I'd suggest taking some time to eat right and lose weight. Here's a nice chart for the scales of what is a healthy weight, what is overweight, what is obese and what is morbidly obese.

https://www.columbusbariatrics.com/resources/am-i-morbidly-obese.php


I'd suggest checking out YYLS on the forums if you're not familiar in how to exercise. Currently I'm working through couch to 5k, 100 pushups, 300 situps, 200 dips, etc programs which will push my cookie-dough ass from not being able to bust out more than twenty pushups, situps, dips, etc to a hundred plus. And I'm going to accomplish most of that before the mandatory quarantines are lifted. Seven to twelve weeks for these programs is all that's needed if you're in okay shape.

5. But if you're already fit or just don't want to do that or can't? Maybe pick up a hobby that isn't watching netflix, playing video games, drinking heavily, having anxiety attacks, sobbing, etc. Find something to do to distinguish you from other people. Something you're passionate about. A hobby. Something. Anything. The amount of things you're going to be able to do in quarantine is lower, but a lot of what you can do at home is going to be cheap. And this will give you the added benefit of being a busybox to keep you from being alone with your thoughts. And remember, this coronavirus thing is going to take years and we'll constantly be shoved back inside of our homes. Now is the time to become good at or even master a craft.

If you're lucky and you work on yourself and you vet your would be partner, you might find yourself someone good and cool to before the second or third wave lockdowns come so you won't be lonely.

Reply · Report Post