A long trip comes to an end.

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In 2010 i started playing StarCraft 2 after seeing Totalbiscuit's videos on the game. It looked like a fun game to play from time to time. I started off in the depths of bronze league and only after months of playing did i get up to diamond league which was the 2nd highest league at the time. Fast forward 2 years later and i finally got to high master league and started playing grandmaster players often. This is the time i started competing in tournaments such as Playhem/Zotac/go4sc2 and even some small offline lan events. When i started playing i never had the goal of becomming a pro player or even getting to a high level. I just genuinely enjoyed the game which allowed me to improve.

Towards the end of heart of the swarm i started playing more and more qualifiers and started doing quite well in tournaments even participating in dreamhacks. I found myself with 1 year remaining to do my study and being at a level where i could give pro gaming a shot. Legacy of the void was a rough start for me. I found the game a lot less enjoyable as new anti-fun units were being added and the map pools got more stale. Either way i still decided to give pro gaming 1 year as i was at a level where i could start doing a lot better in tournaments if i committed more time to it.

The first few months of being "fultime" were very enjoyable. I found myself full of motivation to learn and improve and i found myself rapidly climbing on the ladder from often being stuck at rank 50 to being able to reach rank 30 and onwards comfortably. Nationwars came around and altho i did not do too well i saw the tournament as a huge motivation boost to start doing better for the upcomming WCS circuit.

Shortly after Nationwars was over for team Netherlands IEM came around, altho my bracket was very hard i always was confident and thought i could beat players of an even or better level aslong as i believed i could. It was a dissapointing loss back then not even making it to prize money with a 1-2 loss to SortOf. The WCS circuit was just about to start tho, and i still was feeling confident and ever so motivated.

In 2017 the first WCS event was Austin. I was fortunately able to go there thanks to the support of my team at the time (Dead Pixels) and i managed to have a good result making it to group stage 3 and even taking a map off Serral in group stage 3. A few weeks later challenger came around and for the first time i qualified for challenger. I can still remember how happy i was, my bracket at the time i thought it would be impossible as i was not feeling good at all in tvp and i had to face Mana in the qualifying match and prior to that i barely won over Bly in some very solid 5 rax reaper games. In challenger i barely lost to Nerchio 2-3 and altho losing is always dissapointing i felt extremly good about myself, being able to go toe to toe with a top european zerg in one of the most prestigious tournamnets felt amazing and i started feeling more motivated to do this for a second year.

Valencia came around and altho i did not have the best showing i still look back at that tournament as one of my best. I had a very hard groupstage 1 group containing Cloudy and Ziggy. I did a lot of preparation especially on Cloudy and i got first place in the group without even losing a map. This made my group stage 2 a lot easier and thus i was able to secure a spot in group stage 3. Altho a bit of a dissapointing end to group stage 3 losing 1-2 to True and 1-2 to Harstem i still felt good about the run. After Valencia concluded i decided to give pro gaming 1 more year. I just had a few very solid tournament runs and fueled with motivation i thought in the second year i could break the round of 32 struggle.

2018

The year started off very rough, i did not adjust well to the new patch and started to stream a lot more as i found myself enjoying the game less and less. I always found playing StarCraft more fun when streaming and i was starting to lack motivation quickly so i had to find a way to keep myself playing. Luckilly the support was insane and i never had a day where i did think "i really don't wanna play today" Shortly into 2018 Leipzig came around and so did the first dissapointment. The tournament was extremly stacked however i had a very good group to make it to the ro32 again and finally get past that ever so annoying group stage 3. Sadly i did end up getting eliminated in group stage 2.

When IEM Katowice came around i started feeling a bit better about my gameplay and it was a good chance to get WCS points which are extremly necessary especially early on as the system is an incredibly snowball heavy system. Unfortunately at IEM i did not manage to get any WCS points. Qualifier runs were also starting to get harder and harder and soon i found myself not as motivated as a year ago. Instead of constantly improving i felt like i had peaked, i am still playing as much as i used to however im simply not getting better. Doubts were starting to set in whether i was actually able to continue doing this.

Nationwars 5:

Nationwars started very well for The Netherlands which was a huge motivation boost. We qualified beating Peru 4-0 and in the online group stages we crushed our group and got first place beating USA barely 4-3 and sweden 4-0. Altho i did not personally think i played too well it was still a good tournament so far and with our RO8 match comming up vs norway we felt extremly confident. After a very well planned out series and amazing play by Harstem with an all kill we made it to the offline part of the event, my first qualified event. It felt amazing that we had such a good team and altho we ended up not winning the event i feel like all 3 of us played our very best.

Nationwars was a huge motivation boost to recover a rough start from the WCS circuit. Sadly dissapointment after dissapointment continued. I couldn't qualify for challenger anymore, i started losing earlier and earlier in the bracket to people who i feel like i should not be losing to and i started getting more frustrated. WCS Austin was around the corner and altho i was better than ever i had no WCS points and knew it was gonna be a hard group stage 1. With a 1-2 loss to Mana and a 1-2 loss to Namshar i was eliminated in group stage 1 of the tournament, something that has never happend in the past for me.

It was extremly dissapointing and i started to think more about going back to school as things were not working out well. I lost a lot of motivation to practice in general and found myself playing a lot less and streaming way less than i used to. Valencia was just about to start tho and i was still feeling ok about my gameplay just not as motivated as before.

The tournament went decent for me. Group stage 1 i ended in 2nd place losing to Neeb which would give me a harder group stage 2. The first match vs Bly i lost in a very bad way but i knew i was very likely playing him again in the decider so it did not matter too much as i knew how he would play. Unfortunately i ended up losing that series 1-2 and did not advance to group stage 3. Playing on the main stage was a fun experience altho it made me play game 1 very poorly as i was not feeling too comfortable.

Now that Valencia is over there are no events left prior to Montreal (which i won't be attending). This means that Valencia was my last event for the near forseeable future and it is annoying i did not atleast make it to group stage 3 but it its what it is.

In september i will be starting a new education. Prior to starting with progaming i finished a 4 year study off IT networking and thusi will be starting a follow up study. (my bachelor). It is hard to call it "retirement" as i don't think i will stop playing the game however i will be playing way less than i used to. I think i will also be playing more for fun rather than for the competing. I might play a qualifier here or there, attend homestory cup as a visitor or perhaps compete in Valencia tho i dont forsee myself returning as a pro player.

As for the stream, i can honestly not say how much i will be streaming. The next few weeks i will be having a vacation as my study starts in September and i plan on streaming a bit the comming weeks however i can honestly not say how much i will be streaming.

Thank you everyone who has supported me over the years, be it in my stream chat, replying to my tweets whenever i have a bad run or even just watching my matches thank you! It was a fun run and i don't look back with dissapointment however it is time to move on.

<3

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