when i say "5sos saved my life" most people just think yeah whatever, but not a lot of people know it's the truth. 100% true. in 2012, I was diagnosed with severe depression and began self harming, I couldn't think of a single reason that I should live, I wasn't worth anything. I attempted suicide 3 times, I just wanted everything to end. I remember the feeling of being alone and feeling like I didn't have anything to live for, not being able to sleep or eat because I didn't think it mattered. I kept fake smiling and pretending I was okay at home, at school, out with friends but when I was in my bedroom alone I would cry and self harm and hate myself. it got to the point where my thighs were covered in cuts and to this day the scars still scatter my thighs. It was a dark time for me and I'm not proud of it, but anyway once I discovered this YouTube account "hemmo1996" and watched a few videos of a boy named luke singing, then I went on to discover he had a band called "5 seconds of summer" I felt myself smiling for what felt like the first time in so long, I started watching more and more videos and falling more and more in love, by the end of the day I had watched all the videos and was stalking all their twitters. Slowly they went from having ten thousand followers to a million and as they got bigger and bigger and people at school started finding out about them, they were no longer my little secret. When the announcer they were touring with one direction was one of the happiest and saddest days of my life, happy because i was going to be able to see my two favourite bands at the same time, the saddest, because I knew how madly in love everyone would fall with them. The first boy i ever saw in real life was michael. he was walking back to his hotel and there was about 30 girls following him, I remember how scared he looked and I felt so bad i just wanted to cuddle him but I was so happy that I finally got to see 1/4 of my sunshines. The day I met ashton and Calum was one of the best days of my life, after getting to there hotel at roughly 8am, I sat inside their hotel for roughly 5 hours before being kicked outside, at around 3:30pm a taxi pulled up outside their hotel and girls instantly ran to it. I was the first girl to get to calum as everyone else ran to ashton, I remember freezing and just staring at calum. I walked up to him and asked if I could have a photo and he smiled and pulled me close, I was shaking so much that he was laughing and he offered to take the picture for me, i had butterflies in my stomach and tears in my eyes and this point, I thanked him and moved out of the way and made my way to ashton, so at first I thought it was luke and then I got closer and realised it was ashton and almost collapsed. I was standing next to him for a while trying to get a photo but girls kept pushing in, ashton noticed & walked over to me and asked if I wanted a photo, I remember just shaking and nodding then taking the picture, I said thank you so much I love you! he just smiled and continued taking photos, the second time I met ashton I asked if I could have a kiss on the cheek, he laughed and said of course. When he went inside I started crying because it was so hard to believe that I actually met ashton and calum. They are so much more than just a band to me, they aren't just 5sos. they are calum hood, ashton Irwin, Michael Clifford & luke hemmings, my sunshines, the light that helped me through my darkness, each boy has helped me in an entirely different way. im currently only 47 days clean, which I know may not seem like a lot but too me it is. I used to only be able to go a day without cutting and now I rarely feel the need to. I know a lot of people that have met the boys and all their stories are incredible, ive had numerous people say to me that i chose the right band after watching a video or reading about them. they care about us, they've helped me meet so many new people. some of my best friends today are because of them. I'm forever grateful for 5sos and everything they've done for me. we aren't fans to them, we are a family.
#5sosfam
Thank you.
(im aware this will probably get read by like two people but idc)

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